Let’s just get to the point — breakups suck! Whether the relationship was 3 months, 3 years or 30 years, ending a relationship truly sucks, especially when you really thought the other person was potentially the one or at the very least, a good one to hold onto for a while. However, it does not mean that one cannot heal and be ready to try love again with a new partner! So here are three (of many) ways to heal from a break up:
1. Allow your emotions to come to the surface. When you first go through a breakup, you may want to do your best to keep your cool and act like nothing is fazing you, especially your ex-partner but let’s be real, your emotions are probably on edge. Being vulnerable is not always easy but is very necessary in order to recognize the underlying pain. Look at it this way: How can you heal without noticing where the wound is, right? So be open and feel your emotions fully.
2. Step away from blame and find the hidden lesson(s). Once you’ve called the other person every name in the book, take a break, breathe and try to observe the relationship from an outsider’s point of view while taking accountability for your role in how things turned out. In every relationship, there has to be some responsibility taken from both parties for what happened since it takes two to make the relationship work or not work in this case. Also, this is a great time to notice the hidden lesson(s) within the relationship and the breakup. Is there a pattern that keeps happening that you should investigate? Did you react differently to a certain situation than you did in the past? Did you lose yourself in the other? The more questions you ask, the more answers you get. The more answers you get, the more clarity you’ll obtain. The more clarity you obtain, the quicker the healing will take place. Isn’t it nifty how it all connects?
3. Forgive. I know. I know. Easier said than done but it is a must in order to fully heal from any situation, including breakups. At the end of the day, we are all human and we are doing the best we can with what we have. Sometimes, our best does not align with another’s expectations or someone’s best does not jibe with our level of best so it’s usually best to let go and let God and find forgiveness in the other’s actions. (Could I have put the word ‘best’ anymore in that last sentence? :P) Anyway, it has been said many times but it bears repeating that forgiveness does not mean acceptance of one’s behavior but it does mean that YOU can emotionally move on from the situation and heal fully and perhaps, even gain appreciation for the entire experience.
If you need any further advice on how to heal from hurt, I’m sure google can provide tons of advice for you but please, take in the advice that resonates with you during your healing process. You are the best person to know what works best for you! (There I go with ‘best’ again.) Well on that note, I’m wishing you the best in your love and your life! :)